Christmas Roadtrip
SARASOTA - ORLANDO - ATLANTA - NASHVILLE - LOUISVILLE - DAYTON - CHICAGO - AVONDALE - DOUBLE BACK
Holiday Road Trip
Every year, the family all gather in Ohio for Christmas. We go to midnight mass in Columbus/Blacklick/New Albany, and we, the cousins, bring the gifts down the aisle in the rich Catholic church. There are pictures/photoshoot and video with the locals visits. They take us to the Olive Garden by the strip club and the liquor store. My bad cousin stole her sisters identity and gave me a fake id of a Mexican named Maria. We went to OSU for blue fish bowls.
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We do our annual Christmas train, because Nana and Pop Pop make us, since they're weird. We have Christmas cookies, liquor, black trash bags, and watch their Holiday Dance recital videos. Pop pop needs shrimp cocktail.
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Then, there's the other side - Linda's side...
Florida
I've never missed a Christmas. I moved from Chicago, because I was done with it. I had been there for about a decade, and there were too many bad memories. I knew a lot of people, and I didn't want to live that lifestyle anymore. People just use me, abuse me, and sabotage me.
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I had started dating Kyle, and he agreed to go with me. He was excited to go anywhere other than here.
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We drove there. He also came with me to get my stuff from Matt and storage.
Atlanta
In Atlanta, we stayed with my childhood friend Laura. She's filippina and has always wanted to be me. Now, she lives in Germany with her husband from Rochester. We met him and stay at their place in Virginia Highland. That was kind of them or was it. We also ended up going to there wedding with Cali.
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For their honeymoon stuff, they went to Chicago and went to Alinea. She just copies me and pretends like she's white. She planned my surprise going away party in 8th grade.
Ohio
Dayton, Ohio is a town that they say is a city. It's small, rural, and weird. There's not much there, and the industries left. The 2008 recession and real estate affected the construction business. Linda's family is weird. It's awkward.
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I've never lived in Ohio, and I don't like it there. I don't like the people, the land, or the culture. They are perverts, pedophiles, and white trash. Alan and I don't belong there. They just go there to see their parents, because we are the only ones who made it out.
The Final Farewell
I am adopted. Grandma told me that I didn't have to keep visiting when she got old. That wouldn't hurt her feelings. I decided to focus on myself and my life.
River North
We stayed at the Ohio Motel in River North. We had all of my stuff. We had also stayed at my friend Nate's and had Thai with Marcy and Titus. She had to leave early the next day, so we couldn't stay there. She's a fair-weather friend who also copies me and tries to take my boyfriends.
Avondale
My ex lived in Avondale. He had rented a U-Haul to move my stuff to a storage unit when I told him I was leaving. We had lived together thrice. Minimal romance. More like convenience. He stalks me and wants to be me. He was suicidal, an addict, and has been in jail via Paddy Wagon and the Psych Ward.
Uptown
My other friend moved North to Uptown when I did. My other friend moved to West Town when I moved to Humboldt. They all copy me and want to be me. Both of those want my life, my boyfriends, and my career. We went to her new place, and I knew it was over. It was dead. That's life.
The Drive
Snowy, Wintery Roads
We drove all the way from Sarasota to Dayton, Ohio. I don't think we had Cali yet. My memory is foggy when I think about that. They were all very happy to see us and surprised that we made it one piece. Is that because they had us followed and surveilled along the way? We stopped in Georgia, Nashville, and Kentucky. In Nashville, we went to the Winter Mountain exhibition. We bought the special barbecue and hot sauces from that one rest stop with the huge Indian Chief statue. We took so many pictures, and he would post like he was over the moon in love with me - which stirred up jealousy and more jealousy
Nashville
An Overnighter
We found Maple Street, and then they opened up one here. We had Nashville Hots in a hotel and a personal memory. That trip trauma-bonded us, because I still didn't really feel like it was love. I just needed someone to go with me to get my stuff, and he was the most like them. I thought he would fit in best with them. He was white and is able to be cordial. Guy gave him a football. The cousins, aunts, and uncles were very jealous. I don't want to marry or be raped or molested by Linda or anyone on her side of the family. Same with Guy's side of the family. I do not like them. They are weird and unattractive. Matt never met them. Neither did Christian.
The Stay
Family Time
His brother, mother, and sister were very jealous. They started drama and targeted us for attacks with his exes. That is disgusting and incestuous. That is classic white trash and Mexican drama. Mind your own bullshit.
The Annual
A Midwestern Christmas Vacation
Dayton
Consulting
Dayton is where both of their parents live. Nana and Pop Pop sold their house and bought a condo in Grandma and Grandpa's neighborhood. They built those more recently with Steve, Karl, and Adam Zengel. Eric had a landscaping company. Karen did his books. There are 5 sets of adults and all their kids.
Church
Campaigns
We go to Catholic mass in Dayton and Columbus every year for Christmas and New Years. Grandpa used to own the land their church is built on, but he sold it. We always are noticed. When Kyle was there, we went without Grandma and Grandpa. He isn't Catholic.
Columbus
Development
Jeanel and Greg Gliebe live in the land of Polaris Mall. That's where Leslie Wexner lives with his white picket fences. Jessa and Kara worked at Abercrombie. Jeanel teaches girl kids at Pinellas dance studio and works at Bath & Bodyworks. Greg works at Lucent and dances as an elf every year at the Christmas show. They sing.
Family
Analysis & Strategy
Linda's side is very incestuous. They're very weird and awkward. Linda is a daddy's girl just like her sisters. That's what they call Lisa. I think they're both porn families, and they lie about everything. They're houses of incest, rape, addiction, lies, and secrets.
Breaking Traditions
FORGING NEW PATHS
I do not like incest, porn, rape, abuse, violence, or their sense of "humor". They're very perverted, racist, and small-town. Everyone knows each other there. Maureen lies a lot. She also makes stuff up and spies on us, because she is an old, jealous, ugly, annoying, loser who tries to prey off of us and our lives. They won't say it, but I'll say it for Jessa. She deserves that much. We are both Capricorns.
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Pop Pop is a huge pedophile and incest rapist. He's an alcoholic and white trash who thinks that he's something he's not. Maureen got knocked up on her first day, so they had to get married.
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Grandpa picked Grandma at 19. They wed and had 5 kids. They're the dirt, and their kids are the mud. Alan and I are adopted. It's very awkward and uncomfortable to have them around. They all want to be me and steal what's mine. BInk and Kara tried to weasel their way into my business and have me brand them, but they're had to work with and try to fuck up my taxes. They're ugly and jealous.
When one door closes...
Another One Opens
They don't have the right to be jealous of me or hate me. That's unjustified and unfair. They've all done so much dirt in the dark that they try to hide and cover up with lies. Smiles, whispers, looks, and secret conversations.
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They are white trash who have tried to copy me. Guy copies me, and they're also jealous of him - because of me. They don't understand that I am above them and that they would be nothing without me.
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This is me taking charge of my life for me for once in my short life while saving my own life from hacking, insurance scams, tax fraud, identity fraud, and business cons.
THE GUILTY & JEALOUS CULPRITS
Kyle Carey & Exes
Kyle and I met on Bumble. He has a son from a baby mama he met at a show. She was a photographer who left and had a music festival boyfriend. He is always on his own wave. His exes, Sammy and a mermaid stripper, are loca. They are crazy, jealous stalkers that speak Spanish and are fatherless whores and prostitutes. I am not that. I do not like them.
Matt Mrozinksi & Exes
Matt and I met freshman year of college. He was with another girl, but he was obsessed with me. We were friends with my next-door neighbor in the dorm, Robert Mancuso. We should've dated, but Angelica Sampson intervened and is also crazy. She's annoying and parentless and poor. She was a stalker cling-on, and we felt bad for her.
I MET DARRELL POOLE JR. ON HINGE. HE WAS OBSESSED WITH ME. HIS EXES SOUND GROSS.
Christian Serrano & Exes
He was a trans female apparently and a furry porn-star before I knew him. He's from here. He said that he had a restraining order against his sister. His step-brother little Brad has a record business out of a storage unit. His step-sister Sam is from another father and is blonde. His exes are Sara and Jenna. I don't know them. I have zero interest in knowing them. I don't like that or them. I'm sure they're weird and ghetto.
Nikolas Schuler & Exes
I met Nik through his best friend that I met on Bumble as a rebound from Kyle. That was a terrible break-up. He wanted to make sure that we were connected, so he gave me his underling's information to keep us in contact. He moved to Cali like the next day. He has a black G-Wagon. I though we were dating for like 12 hours, but he broke up with me with an eagle picture on Instagram. I don't know his baby mama.
I'VE HAD TWO FAKE ENGAGEMENTS. THIRD TIME'S THE CHARM EXCEPT I DON'T WANT THAT.
Where does the rage, anger, and hatred emanate from and why...